operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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