i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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