using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
