What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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