Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
