my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
