well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
