can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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