you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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