Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
