he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
