There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
