he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
