I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
