the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He shit in the fireplace
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
