The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
