OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
