Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
