This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
