So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
