Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
