The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
