His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
