Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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