Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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