i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just want to make out with him forever
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
