My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
