Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
