...so i touched it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
