her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
