So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
