will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
