I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
