dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
