Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize