Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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