Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
