Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
