Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
