Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
