then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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