there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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