If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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