She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have aggressive nipples.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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