I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
