So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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