why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
