Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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