She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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