Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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