you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
