Only a mothe r could love this liver
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
