I heard we made out
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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