I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
