You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
