i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize