The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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