she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
