I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
