I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
