glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
