a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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