Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He better not be in your backpack
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize