I want to make a zoo with you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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