so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
