did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
