my mouth tastes like poor choices
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
