Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
