I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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