lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
