she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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