Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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