Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
