What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
